xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
