Kiss
Puke
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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