My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
