Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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