I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
