Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize