Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize