i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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