Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
