yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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