So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
