so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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