I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
