i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
