i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
