i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
