On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
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i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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