you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
