Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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