everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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