We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
