I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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