Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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