Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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