Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
