i need an iv and a liver transplant
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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