I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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