How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
