Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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