So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
