my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
