names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
