I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
