So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
