How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
