So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
