sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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