she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
