There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
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Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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