well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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