my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
MIDGETS
????
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
