i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
