that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
