if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize