Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
they need to just BURY HIM!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
