You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
