You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
