its not stalking. its research.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
be right there i have to get my cape
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
