Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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