remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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