We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
