So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize