i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
