I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
