It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
