You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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