I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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