i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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