Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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