Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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