he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
