tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
