i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
