Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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