My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
