hotel room ftw
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
