but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
